…Compared With Whom?

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In last week’s article Be Where You Want in Life: The One Thing You Need I explored the topic of confidence in oneself. This is a huge topic and I would like to stick to it for a moment. I am going to share with you one trick that helps me a lot with the topic of confidence. I am sure you’ll find it useful!

A low confidence brings up doubts about yourself. Was is ok what I did? Am I good enough for this job? Do they see me as smart, good-looking, genuine? Your mind is a restless machine of creating thoughts and many of them are doubts.

What do all these question have in common? COMPARING YOURSELF. 

Comparing yourself is something you learned when you were a kid. Your mind does it on autopilot, it always compares you with others. This is when an interesting question comes up:

What if you don’t compare at all? What happens?


Who can judge if something is right or wrong if there is no way to compare and measure?

How can you know if you are good or bad at something if you don’t compare yourself?

If you think about it, there is no fair way to evaluate yourself. If you were the only person on Earth you would have no idea if you are good-looking, smart, skilled, creative… you wouldn’t even know if you are young or old. The only thing you could compare is how you were before and how you are now. That’s it. 

Much less weight on your shoulders, right?

Here my useful tip I promised:

Every time you judge or evaluate yourself, ask yourself:

Compared with whom or what?


You’ll see that your mind comes up with all kinds of people and things to compare to…

You’re better at driving then XX – thumb up! 

You are less good-looking than XY – thumb down! 

But how objective is your way to measure? Not objective at all. The days you feel good you see yourself better and the other way round. Plus, you only select people you know or you’ve heard of. This all is so subjective that it doesn’t say anything at all about you.

It’s likely that people with good self-confidence compare themselves with other people than a less confident person would. This is why they see themselves better than … although it may not be the reality.

As everything is so relative, why not stop comparing and just do your best

YOU should be the only person to compare with.


See how you did before and how you’re doing now. That’s the only thing that makes sense.

Be fair to yourself!