How To Be a Loser

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A new year has started.

Many of us are looking forward to start from scratch – start doing something good and stop doing something bad.

Some of us are going to succeed, plenty of us won’t.

If you’re looking for articles on succeeding this year, go ahead – the internet is full of them.

This post is different. It will show you how to lose.

I recently came across an interview with Joe Vitale, an author of self-help books. One of the questions was: “How can we become losers?” I loved this opposite point of view. There’s so much stuff on how to do things right and it repeats itself over and over. Why not think the other way round?

Joe Vitale’s answer was:

“Easy. Don’t follow your dreams, don’t follow your intuitions, don’t act on your opportunities. Don’t take any action on any good ideas, recommendations, advise, intuition, dreams, passion… ignore all of it. And you know what? That’s how I went homeless. I would keep ignoring little voices in my head (…) I thought I was smarter than my intuition. And as long as I thought I was smarter than my intuition I was a loser.”

Now we have a perfect recipe!

I’ll share with you now my own recipe for becoming a loser and leading an unhappy life. It goes like that:

  1. Ignore your intuition, be convinced it doesn’t exist. It’s just for hippies and religious people, you are smarter than that.
  2. Believe that you can control everything. When something happens to you, think that you’re a victim of bad external circumstances. Pity yourself.
  3. Fight and resist everything you don’t like in your life. Be convinced that you can win the game of life by force. 

But wait! Don’t feel guilty if this is precisely what you’ve been doing until now.

Whenever I heard stories on “how to” and “how not to” I used to feel guilty and blame myself. Why haven’t I started this or that, why am I still where I don’t want to be? C’mon Jana, you’re 25, 26, 27… the time is now! I entered in a bad circle.

I felt guilty, so I put pressure on myself.

I didn’t know which steps to take, so I felt guilty again.

It’s a circle.


I just want to say it’s completely ok if you feel like this sometimes. If you compare yourself with others, you think of all the things you wanted to do in 2016 and you didn’t…. it’s normal. Accept it as something everyone of us is going through sometimes.

And perhaps you read Vitale’s words and think your life is different, your opportunities are different, it’s not as easy as it sounds … and you know what? You’re right, it’s always different. No one has the right to judge you, your life and your development. As well as you have no right to judge others’.

However, you can start small… really small.

The beauty of life is that very small, almost unnoticed changes, can trigger something huge.


I don’t believe in sacrificing a lot and neither I believe in luck. I don’t believe in competition and competing with others, and I hate the aggressiveness that’s behind it. And you know what? I also don’t believe in planning ahead and organising your life – it creates frustration, as life is dynamic and unpredictable.

What I do believe in is intuition, the power of our unconscious mind and accepting the flow of life. 


If you want to be a loser, go ahead. If you want to feel good about your life and learn to appreciate the beauty of it, do the opposite: 


  1. Believe in intuition. Make small attempts to pay attention to every intuition that comes to you. You may obey it or not, but try to listen to it. With time and patience you’ll get better at it. One day you’ll rely on your intuition. 

  2. Surrender to control. Control things you can. Those that you cannot – accept that someone or something else will decide for you. 95% of your mind works in the unconscious. Just because you are not aware of things your unconscious mind does it doesn’t mean there’s nothing going on in you. Don’t feel guilty but responsible

  3. Don’t fight anything nor anyone. Don’t fight your enemies, your mother-in-law, your boss, your life situation, your illness, your intuition. Try not to feel any resistance. If you need to change bad things, change them. But don’t fight them. Because resistance attracts resistance. 

Remember, the smallest and least obvious changes can create a new reality you couldn’t imagine before. You are used to sacrifice, fight, competition, ambition in order to GET what you want. 

What about following these three easy steps to BECOME who you want?